We have had some lively discussions in our Facebook Hub for program members.

Some of the themes have included ‘triggers’ and ‘sensitivity’: How as a community do we both create space for the unfolding stories within us, and be sensitive to others who are reading it?

What we decided upon was to keep our ‘everything welcome’ sentiment so that all Rock Steady and Sensing Ground members can post freely about anything that is in their awareness. The purpose of our closed group is to keep our self-study and interior awareness both witnessed by others and flowing. We don’t want rigid rules or hard edges impeding this tender process of sharing with each other.

(Our Free Facebook group does have more rigid posting rules, and this is to keep everyone safe, because many people do not have the Rock Steady or Ssensing Ground toolkit to manage big emotions and big feelings. So we keep all posts directed towards how we heal only.)

However, in our Facebook Hub group we also don’t want to flood ourselves with heavy content, symptoms or politics, so how do we find that balance?

We have decided that posting a thematic statement at the top of each post (where relevant) is a way to let the reader know in advance if the post covers potentially unsettling themes. This then gives the reader a choice to either take a deep breath and go into it with the tools to take care of any big emotions that arise; or to simply not read it. 

Being triggered, or activated, by other people is part of life. We need the skills to move through this and learn whatever it is that we need to learn through it.

I recently became triggered by a friend at a party and rather than shy away from it, I asked her to open up and tell me more about the very thing that disrupted me. I got in closer to the conversation rather than turning away. I became curious and I listened with my heart. It was a powerful experience. 

Part of being human is having a unique experience. 
Nobody on this planet has an inner experience like you do: yours is 100% yours.

Sharing your inner experience with others is vulnerable because you may be judged or misunderstood–and yet, it can also be invigorating. This is intimacy, this place where two or more humans deeply listen and connect meaningfully. The truth sets us free and the body relaxes into these precious moments of being seen and known.

The truth really does set us free.

I want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone in our Rock Steady and Sensing Ground programs who participated in this recent conversation both live on our group call (your replay is ready!) and also within the Hub. 

On our live group call, I discussed a recent insight I had through ChatGPT(!). I was asking ChatGPT to explain psychological erasure and self-concept to me after I discovered these terms in a useful way for my own inner process. 

I have an unusual experience (unique most likely!) where I did not develop an internal dialogue of “I am”. I appear to have an absence of ‘self-image’ which is part of self-concept. 

So, I asked ChatGPT what the recommended healing process is for this and it said: Follow the Sensing Ground model by reconnecting with your felt sense, validating your inner experience and rewriting your own story.

So I said: Who wrote Sensing Ground?

ChatGPT said: You did. It is authored by Joey Remenyi!

Then I had a very sudden awakening: I am an author! I am a mother! I am a grounded, compassionate leader!

I had no idea! This was almost a divine comedy moment for me.

You probably can’t imagine this, but suddenly I realised that “I” exist and “I am” after 41 years of living in almost a pure flow and witness state. This is an unusual way to develop an inner experience, however, I am unique! When I mentioned this to a few of my psychology friends they all erupted in laughter with me and said: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!

I felt validated at last. I had unlocked a true self-blindness and got out of my own way. 

I now recognise that many of my clients have this similar condition where their internal self-image has not accurately formed and their inner dialogue is scattered with “I am not good enough, I am unworthy, I am failing at life, I am drowning in symptoms.”

Re-writing our internal story, to feel true to who we truly are, is a central part of Rock Steady and in particular Ssensing Ground. 

I am having so much fun reminding myself: “I am standing strong” or “I am watering the garden” or “I am driving with the window down and feeling the wind on my face”.

The simplicity of the sacred truth within these powerful “I am” statements feels very liberating. 

It could be dismissed as insignificant or overlooked as trivial, but after 41 years of not having this “I am” voice developed, I can tell you it really matters.

Without my “I am” voice, I felt confused, lost, disoriented and it was hard work to locate myself. I could do it, but I was starting from scratch every moment. I was referencing myself against others, to figure out who I was. I was literally feeling and sensing my way through life, moment to moment. A great skill set (!), yet I needed to develop my “I am”.

So with my kids, it is obvious that they are my children and I know my role to play… but I never took that next internal step to recognise that therefore “I am a loving mother.”

The sweet nectar of hearing those words: “I am a loving mother!”
I can now feel this in my bones. 

Soon, I will announce a 6 week short program for everyone to join, where together we explore our truer “I am” statements, to allow these words to penetrate deeply into your body scan, to land into your body and become reality. This is sacred work. 

Who are you, really?
Part of this inquiry is learning who we are not.
And part of that includes being triggered by others and moving through it until you find your true story within yourself, where your whole body rests into the truth of it. 

I have found more comfort in verbs than nouns. Although I am exploring both.

“I am resting my body for a pause.”
“I am experiencing a virus, silenced because I cannot speak at this moment.”
“I am tending to the silence with love”
“I am an author and I am writing for my creative flow, it feels so good to write.”

Honestly, this inner “I am” voice of truth feels deeply grounding, centering, honest.
There is no fluff, no self-doubt, no distraction: just pure truth wherever I am, I am.

I can’t wait to share this exploration with everyone in Sensing Ground — join the program if you resonate with the concepts of psychological erasure or if you have difficulty with your self-concept.

In short, psychological erasure occurs when your family or local community could not validate or connect with your inner experience, so your inner world was experienced in isolation, privately and unwitnessed. Your reality was not shared or known. This impacts selfhood and the development of self-concept. 

Many people relate to parts of this and many people hide their inner reality from others out of fear of being judged, so I do not feel this is too uncommon. 

Some of the clues that you experience a form of psychological erasure include:

• Feeling invisible, unheard, or invalidated
• Feeling fragmented, unstable, or incoherent sense of self; difficulty knowing who you are (which can lead to masking or people-pleasing as a coping mechanism)
• Feeling disconnected from one’s body, thoughts, or existence; “watching” self from outside or unsure of what you feel.
• Disconnection between awareness, memory, and identity
• Persistent feelings of void, numbness, or absence of selfhood which can lead to codependency or indecisiveness.

If any of this feels like you, join us in Sensing Ground to discover who you are through reconnecting with your body and the internal stories that you hold. Rewrite your sacred “I am”. Your body will show you the way, just as mine did! 

The path unfolds before you, one body scan at a time. Your interior world will reveal within yourself the exact thing that you are ready to meet. 

I highly recommend it!
I can honestly say that having a weak or vague ‘self-image’ is a real drag.

“I am now deeply content.”
Why?
Because I am rooted in my own centre and I have words to match my human experience.

The journey for me moving forwards, is to practice my “I am” so that I do not forget again!

Let’s talk about Internalised Criticism and Being Dismissive.

Okay, so this newsletter is about the world we live in AND the bodies we live in. Both environments, both worlds, both realities.

You inhabit two worlds: inner and outer.
You control your inner world, not the outer.

For most of my life, I would have argued that I have internal kindness and a strong sense of self. I seem to embody a true (and rare) sense of sovereignty and self-assuredness.

However, insidiously, in the subconscious background of my inner world there is a strong narrative of criticism.

And yet, I couldn’t see or hear this voice. It was so effective at hiding from my awareness. It is the constant hum of subtle anxiety that makes me doubt myself or question my worth.

It is the nasty voice that somehow manages to drag down my self-esteem and cause me to isolate myself from the world of people in SUBTLE ways.

People have always seen me as confident, unapologetically authentic and wise. This feedback is something that I received since childhood–and it made no sense to me! What does that even mean? What a strange thing to say to me!

On the inside, what nobody could see, was that I was hiding myself. I was holding back my intensity, my creativity, my boldness, my deeper spark for life. I had a million stories to share and nobody to share with them with because my interior world was vast, rich, expansive and ‘full on’.

What nobody could see, was that on the inside I was deeply apologetic for my presence. I felt sorry for anyone who had to endure my company or listen to my prolific stories and soulful meandering.

People would come and go from my life, year in and year out.

They saw a confident, unapologetically authentic woman, and yet I felt ‘othered’, looked at, pedestaled, treated as entertainment, criticised, dismissed or made fun of.

The way I was TREATED by the outer world lacked depth, sensitivity, loving attention and richness.

I internalised this behaviour to mean something about who I am.

This insidious narrative set in, deeply scaring my neural wiring, telling me that I am a failure, I am a bad person and I am wrong to be who I am.

This continuous subconscious attack has lived with me, 24/7.

And, dear reader, you will have your own version of this.

We all have a subconscious landscape that is just out of our awareness–it is not yet conscious.

These are the stories, thoughts, ideas and beliefs that plague us while we try to live our lives. We cannot hear these voices or see these stories. These subconscious patterns become the air that we breathe and the water that we metaphorically swim in.

So how do we make them conscious, so that we can be in right relationship with these internal stories, voices, ideas, thoughts, beliefs?

I do this by Sensing Ground.

I notice what I notice.

By noticing how I interpret other people’s behaviour, and noticing how I move in the world in response to this, I notice patterns.

I become aware of repeating patterns. The world shows me my subconscious landscape.

So, when I am abundant and expansive, feeling deep self-connection and loving kindness toward all that I am–this is exactly what I see in the world around me. I feel it inside. I feel whole, beautiful, secure and steady.

Yet, when I see criticism, when I feel dismissed by others, when I feel distanced or avoided by others (and all of that behaviour can be real, true and not imagined)–this reflects my own relationship to my inner world.

So the question or inquiry becomes: Where am I criticising, dismissing, avoiding or distancing myself?

This brings me into alignment with myself.

I can see and notice the 24/7 subconscious attack on my psyche!

I can then invite that in for a cup of tea, to chat. We can get to know each other and I can choose which stories and beliefs I hold onto.

This is power. My choice to hold onto or to keep inner stories.
This is your power too.

We feel helpless, hopeless and powerless when we do not contact this richness within ourselves.

When we lose intimacy with our own inner truth.

When we gaslight ourselves and pretend that we are ‘all good’ and ‘everything is fine’, we lose our power.

If you feel NQR–your body compass is telling you that something is NOT QUITE RIGHT. And that something is VERY likely to be your internal relationship with the subconscious narrative.

This work is deep, messy, at times painful.

It takes humility to admit to ourselves that this is even happening.
It takes courage.

We finally stop searching externally for a ‘fix, cure or solution’ and we turn inwards to develop our own relationship to our inner experience.

You are the expert in yourself and your inner experience.

Whatever you see in others, and the way you speak about your body or your symptoms is a reflection of your inner relationship.

When your inner relationship is strong, you speak with your body, not about it.

When your inner friendship is strong, you do not blame symptoms or try to get rid of them; instead you work with the message that they are giving you and you lovingly respond to your body. You deeply befriend yourself and your loving attention strengthens during hardship, intensity, mystery and darkness. You become the best-friend that you need during your darkest moments.

When your inner relationship is in trouble and struggling, you blame others, you complain about your body and you enter the goose chase for answers. We all do this; we google for solutions and look outwards instead of inwards for wisdom.

During these outwardly-focused times, you more likely to feel exhausted, malnourished, worried, anxious, afraid, alone, isolated. It impacts every relationship, not just your own inner relationship. You may feel misunderstood and unmet by others, because this is a mirror for how you are not yet able to meet yourself fully. This is a life long journey and we go through iterations of this.

I find these outward-seeking periods fertile with lessons to learn.

Some periods of life may feel strong, settled, abundant and healthy. You got this. Inner strength.

Other periods of life may feel hard, scary, lonely, impossible, painful and despairing. During these times, we learn the skills we need to upgrade our internal relationship. We grow and evolve.

Life is not supposed to be easy and comfortable all the time.

That is one helluva myth.

Struggle, darkness, difficulty, and hardship is a certainty.
These are parts of our natural cycles.

The question is: Are you meeting yourself and rising to meet the challenges with an increased capacity for loving kindness?

Or are you stuck, projecting your difficulties onto others (complaining and blaming–we all do it, I certainly do too) and wanting someone else to save, rescue or fix you?

There is a sweet medicinal balm that flows once we shift our relationship to these inner narratives of criticism and attack.

We see it for what it is. The world reflects this back to us if we learn to read to the outer world as a mirror.

So what next? You feel stuck and unmet, the mirror is ugly.

We can strengthen our boundary and come home to who we are by recognising the subconscious “psychic attack” (eg. Your body will show you these attacks in your body scan through symptoms and inner beliefs such as “I am a failure, my body is weak, these symptoms are too much, I can’t heal” etc) and making it conscious. Notice what you notice.

When you live in conscious relationship to yourself, your inner world becomes flooded with new stories and beliefs that sound more like this: “I am here for you, I am stronger than these sensations, tell me more, I am listening, what are learning here, what can I do in this moment to support you through this, maybe this experience is exactly what i need to feel through right now…”

Where are you on your journey towards deep, radical, inner friendship? A place within yourself where you rest deeply and there are no more complaints.

Are you catching your inner stories of helplessness, hopelessness, or powerlessness?

Your symptoms, your body and your relationship struggles in the world will be giving you CLUES as to where you need to pay more loving attention to yourself and your inner relationship.

To learn more, join Sensing Ground.
We explore this inner terrain in detail.

Nobody has it all together–we explore this ongoing inquiry as a community with loving kindness and curiosity.

We meet 3 x a month on live group calls.

You receive self-study modules to support your inner inquiry process to discover your own inner stories, one at a time.

Sensing Ground has been profoundly life-changing for me.

My strengths are becoming more visible; my weaknesses are becoming more supported.

I invite you to take your power back and join me in Sensing Ground.

There comes a time in life when each of us face our Dark Night of the Soul.

And while this is incredibly painful, there is light on the other side—I will discuss my own recent experience of this below.

There are cycles in life that we all live through—not just physically, but also metaphorically.
As we evolve, parts of us die (beliefs, assumptions, ideas, expectations) so that a new clarity and reality can be reborn.

We live in these repeating natural cycles of evolution and development.

These include metpahorical stages of birth, growth, bloom, harvest, decay, compost, death and rebirth.

We can live through these life cycles quickly, slowly, consciously or unconsciously.
We cannot skip them or ignore them! The body doesn’t lie and won’t let us overlook these stages.

Symptoms can become louder when we ignore our life cycles.

Most of my ROCK STEADY and Sensing Ground members are in a decay, compost, death and rebirth cycle. It can be ugly, wonky, confusing and scary.

So let’s talk about the composting and ‘death’ parts of our human cycle.

It could coincide with an accident, trauma, midlife, menopause, an illness (such as the onset of tinnitus, PPPD, or any vertigo), divorce, career change or another huge life event in your community.

Something may ‘trigger’ your decay process. Or perhaps it happens seemingly for no reason at all.
Regardless, it happens to all of us. 

It is normal, healthy and part of being human.

At the decay part of your life cycle, something is not working in your life, and that something is needing to metaphorically die. You are evolving and becoming the next version of yourself.

There are some typical themes that arise in the decay, compost, death and rebirth cycles.

Maybe you are giving your power away and prioritising other people’s lives, rather than really living devoted to your own life?
Maybe your boundaries are being violated and need refining?
Maybe you are disconnected to the earth, the seasons, sustainability and responsible use of resources?
Maybe your attention is scattered and you are not sure of who you are or where you are focused?

I can guide you through all of these stages so that you can rest easy, centre yourself, realign your focus and regain your attention.

This process is full of mystery. It is your unique journey and only you have your own answers.

While you do face this rebirth alone (we all do), you do not have to go through it alone.
You can share your inquiry and feel peer connection through our online community, monthly calls, supportive self-study modules, and private FB groups.

And here is the thing—you can try to fight this process:
You could medicate it, get diagnosis after diagnosis, ‘try’ and get rid of it, ‘try’ and ignore it, push through and pretend that everything is okay… until you fall flat and you surrender into the reality of this life season.

You are in metaphorical decay.
There is no running from this.

You are here, on the floor, questioning everything and wondering if you can make it through.
You have tried every therapy, device, supplement or medication—yet you still feel unsettled in yourself.
No external ‘thing’ seems to help.
The thing that bothers you, keeps bothering you.

You are in compost. The way forwards is through it.
So I want to normalise these struggles and periods of darkness.
ALL humans have their own unique experience of this cycle.

We hit that brick wall.
Things fall apart.
We feel crumby, lost, untethered and in “pain”.
There is a scary void of deep unknown
(…this is HARD to face, yet you will face it).
This place inside yourself is dark
(…and you learn to navigate it with your body scanning skills).
Your decay is unfamiliar, unknown and NOBODY wants to be here.
It feels like some sort of mini-death.

On the other side of this rebirth process, you learn exactly what you need to learn to become the stronger and more resilient version of yourself.

There are key skills you need to move through this process:

–how to connect meaningfully to your body
–how to make sense of your body wisdom and orient yourself
–how to access your intuition and higher self
–how to honour your reality and stop pushing through to please others
–how to cultivate safety, strength and belonging in yourself
–how to stop seeking answers or cures from an external source.

You will become ROCK STEADY. You will begin Sensing Ground through your eight senses.

Your body is your compass and no experience is ‘too much, too intense, too weird or too sensitive’.

You really learn to back yourself, on your own terms.

You discover your own sense of ‘God’ and what that means to you.

I recently described the 7-Gates of Connection and you can re-read that blog here.

This Dark of Night of the Soul “compost experience” occurs when we outgrow Gate 4 (seeking external guidance) and we step into Gate 5 (the Struggle). Next, you enter Gate 6 (you find your internal resources and inner guidance that you can access 24/7).

Recently I had my own Dark Night of the Soul experience.

I did not want that. It is so uncomfortable.
All the ugh bodily sensations. Lots of fears. Lots of doubt. Questioning everything.
Do I just give up?
So I prayed to my God, I spoke to the universe and I asked: How can I truly be in service this lifetime?

The answer I received was this:

“You are highly skilled at compost, decay, void, darkness, and rebirth. There are millions of people who are stuck searching for external answers and cures, and they want to learn how to move intuitively through their own darkness. Teach them, guide them, host spaces for them. Show up. You know this terrain so well.”

So rather than hiding myself in a hole—here I am. Inviting you to join our community if you are hitting that wall, feeling that things are falling apart, and wanting to learn how to move through your own rebirth process.

Each time I meet my inner darkness, I touch the Sacred and I receive a gift. It is always worth the struggle and these days, I move through this pain and crumby stuff quite quickly. I have been mastering the art of decay, compost, death and rebirth since my late 20s!

I was joking with a friend that my real gift this lifetime is that I can fall apart and rebuild myself really efficiently. I have capacity for intensity and mystery. I can go there and keep breathing. I stay with myself, with my body, with my heart and I keep learning more about what it is to be fully human. I feel the Divine within this icky process.

I promise you that nobody chooses this path. It happens through you, whether you want it or not.

So if you are facing midlife, trauma, struggle, illness, symptoms or any form of the Dark Night of the Soul—join us.

We meet to sit in circle. We listen with our heart. We speak from our bodies. We go there together and it is never too much.

You are never too much. We will never pathologize your experience or offer you external advice. Instead, we will see your strength, your capacity, your love, your uniqueness and we will honour you where you are. In your decay, your compost, your death and your rebirth. Your struggle is Sacred.

These are rites of passage that support our wellbeing, our mental health, our physical body, our spiritual sanity and our relational lives.

What I have learned in this deep apprenticeship of somatic-spiritual work, is that we need each other. Community is the anchor that holds your body, and your body is the anchor that holds you. You are your own expert, and community is your nourishment.

Please don’t cry alone, hide or suffer in the privacy of your own shame.
Join us.

If you have persistent or chronic symptoms, ROCK STEADY may be the better option for you, to learn reconnection to your body.

If you identify as Highly Sensitive (HSP), spiritually fluid, neurodivergent, or Soulful, then SENSING GROUND might be the better option for you.

Feel free to reach out if you are unsure.

I am here for you. When you hit rock bottom, reach out.
I will witness you as you find your way through to the other side.

Reach out if you seek 1:1 sessions with me; these can be a huge portal into your own self-knowing and soulful strength.