So, the topic continues to be hot, and it’s political.
As I see it, the way we make love shows us how we relate to the world.
When sex is reduced to a thing one does to achieve climax, the whole experience is book ended. There is a separation. A beginning and an end. It’s defined, linear, and a somewhat static event. It is a transaction of doing and being done to.
Living in this way has caused hurt, destruction and trauma for our bodies, communities and ecosystems. We are being ‘done to’, taken from and we are using our natural resources without continuous consent or reciprocity.
Collectively we are being confused: what is real? Can we really pay for clean water with money? Or, do we need to circle back to the origins of clean water and care for the ecosystems that willingly provide it?
Do we need to return to the earth and dance upon her soils, regenerating our love, grace, appreciation and interconnectedness?
Or, do we keep sleepwalking to the next vending machine to ‘buy’ the next ‘thing’ that we ‘crave’?
To participate in the narrative of transactionality, tit for tat, is to give our personal power away and to deny the Sacred that lives within all of us and everything.
So, how can we turn this ship and create a new way of being in our world?
Let’s talk about the waves of orgasm—because inside of this experience I think is the guidance that we all yearn for.
In my late 20’s, I felt deep confusion about sex, relationships and pleasure, so I made a silent commitment to myself to make sense of it.
I decided to explore the sensual capacity of my body—what can I feel? Where can I go? What is possible inside of this Sacred Vessel that I was born with?
I began to realise that orgasms feel like continuous waves the roll in various intensities. The embodied experience is a layered experience, head to toe, of sensation flowing from the very subtle—almost imperceptible—to the massive and confrontingly intense.
The emotional experience of the orgasm waves is as varied as humanity itself—in order for me to stay with the orgasmic waves I need to be consciously willing to stay with the full smorgasbord of emotions. Present.
Not only do I feel the light, playful, ecstatic and loving experiences but also the depths of grief, absurdity, loss, evil and corruption. Every flavour human experience washes into the orgasmic waters and my role is to keep feeling it, with an intention to remain receptive. To keep opening up into more it.
Rather than fight, flight, freeze or fawn from the sensory expansions, I place my loving attention and intention upon it, and ride the waves.
You might notice I’m not using the word climax yet.
I learned quickly that climax deadens the waves. It book-ends the experience. The dance is over. The music shuts down. The neurology hibernates.
We live in a modern culture that chases climax and deadening.
I’m wondering how our entire world might evolve differently if we all began to live within our orgasm waves, sensual, feeling, attuned to ourselves and the world around us?
What if we stayed in our bodies, opening up into the pains of life, breathing through it fully, and allowing the aches to soften into waves of pleasure?
What if we began to feel into the real pleasure of presence, here and now, in each and every moment—instead of chasing cravings that don’t really exist because they are not here, now. The things we crave are over there somewhere, distracting us from being fully here now. The chase towards climax, is an agenda that deadens the majesty of fully feeling in waves. We cannot be ‘here’ if our attention is over ‘there’.
So, for me, the waves flow, they crash and roll. I go inwards and swim with the full breadth of it, receptive and attuned to both inner and outer worlds. Wherever I am.
When climax comes, it’s an unexpected and unpredictable tidal motion that takes me to a place I never knew existed—every time. I choose not to control it, it’s a surrender into the soup of being human. Climax is not a goal or destination, it’s a journey into the unknown that may or may not explode. A never ending mystery.
I am starting to believe that collectively we need to return to our sensuality as a way of life. To allow our bodies this free flow of vitality, to become Sacred Vessels with full expression, rather than be constrained and ‘done to’.
We don’t care for our bodies; we are our bodies and our bodies are nature, earth. We don’t fix our bodies; we listen to our innate embodied intelligence and respond to the needs within and around us, attuned. We don’t achieve climax or go get pleasure; we are living in waves of orgasmic potential in every moment and the mystery of climax invites us into her mystical lair if we are receptive to her whispers.
Pleasure is a language that we all must learn to speak with our bodies. It’s subtle and satisfying. The slightest breeze or rain drop can be all it takes to awaken this deep forgotten place within us.
May we remember our Sacred Sensuality and come home.
Pleasure is not fast food, cars, fancy homes or material wealth. Pleasure is literally at our fingertips and lives in the deep well of our collective Divinity.
May we all return here together and sing. With the waves of orgasm pulsing to the thrum of the universe itself. Interconnected.
I’d love to hear your thoughts if you have any.
I’m opening a space for these juicy and powerful conversations in my new Sensing Ground community.
I’m curious to see where this exploration takes us.
I have noticed that my clients who begin with complex pains and persistent unwanted bodily sensations, awaken a whole new life for themselves when they return to sensuality. They take their power back. They know themselves. Pleasure flows again. Their bodies are set free.
Isn’t this what we all want?
I dream of a world where we belong with each other because of our beautiful differences rather than being addicted to sameness, cliques, hiding, and monocultures.
Sensing Ground is a community to explore the many invisible layers of shame, pushing through, pretending and masking that we all live through.
Sensing Ground is for every person, whether you identify as man, woman, or non-gender; as profoundly gifted, autist, ADHD’er or neuronormal; as young or old; as any religion or any race.
Sensing Ground is for therapists, teachers, yoga and pilates devotees, doctors, surgeons, builders, plumbers, tech workers, healers, and artists.
Everyone belongs, because we all have a body.
Our common ground is that we all want to discover how to understand the sensations of our body and respond to it like a compass.
Join me in Sensing Ground to explore your Sacred Belonging within yourself and to transcend the separation paradigm of the identity wars. We all belong here. Our bodies know this.
Together, we find that home is in the body itself.
Join the early notification list for the Sensing Ground community here.
