There comes a time in life when each of us face our Dark Night of the Soul.
And while this is incredibly painful, there is light on the other side—I will discuss my own recent experience of this below.
There are cycles in life that we all live through—not just physically, but also metaphorically.
As we evolve, parts of us die (beliefs, assumptions, ideas, expectations) so that a new clarity and reality can be reborn.
We live in these repeating natural cycles of evolution and development.
These include metpahorical stages of birth, growth, bloom, harvest, decay, compost, death and rebirth.
We can live through these life cycles quickly, slowly, consciously or unconsciously.
We cannot skip them or ignore them! The body doesn’t lie and won’t let us overlook these stages.
Symptoms can become louder when we ignore our life cycles.
Most of my ROCK STEADY and Sensing Ground members are in a decay, compost, death and rebirth cycle. It can be ugly, wonky, confusing and scary.
So let’s talk about the composting and ‘death’ parts of our human cycle.
It could coincide with an accident, trauma, midlife, menopause, an illness (such as the onset of tinnitus, PPPD, or any vertigo), divorce, career change or another huge life event in your community.
Something may ‘trigger’ your decay process. Or perhaps it happens seemingly for no reason at all.
Regardless, it happens to all of us.
It is normal, healthy and part of being human.
At the decay part of your life cycle, something is not working in your life, and that something is needing to metaphorically die. You are evolving and becoming the next version of yourself.
There are some typical themes that arise in the decay, compost, death and rebirth cycles.
Maybe you are giving your power away and prioritising other people’s lives, rather than really living devoted to your own life?
Maybe your boundaries are being violated and need refining?
Maybe you are disconnected to the earth, the seasons, sustainability and responsible use of resources?
Maybe your attention is scattered and you are not sure of who you are or where you are focused?
I can guide you through all of these stages so that you can rest easy, centre yourself, realign your focus and regain your attention.
This process is full of mystery. It is your unique journey and only you have your own answers.
While you do face this rebirth alone (we all do), you do not have to go through it alone.
You can share your inquiry and feel peer connection through our online community, monthly calls, supportive self-study modules, and private FB groups.
And here is the thing—you can try to fight this process:
You could medicate it, get diagnosis after diagnosis, ‘try’ and get rid of it, ‘try’ and ignore it, push through and pretend that everything is okay… until you fall flat and you surrender into the reality of this life season.
You are in metaphorical decay.
There is no running from this.
You are here, on the floor, questioning everything and wondering if you can make it through.
You have tried every therapy, device, supplement or medication—yet you still feel unsettled in yourself.
No external ‘thing’ seems to help.
The thing that bothers you, keeps bothering you.
You are in compost. The way forwards is through it.
So I want to normalise these struggles and periods of darkness.
ALL humans have their own unique experience of this cycle.
We hit that brick wall.
Things fall apart.
We feel crumby, lost, untethered and in “pain”.
There is a scary void of deep unknown
(…this is HARD to face, yet you will face it).
This place inside yourself is dark
(…and you learn to navigate it with your body scanning skills).
Your decay is unfamiliar, unknown and NOBODY wants to be here.
It feels like some sort of mini-death.
On the other side of this rebirth process, you learn exactly what you need to learn to become the stronger and more resilient version of yourself.
There are key skills you need to move through this process:
–how to connect meaningfully to your body
–how to make sense of your body wisdom and orient yourself
–how to access your intuition and higher self
–how to honour your reality and stop pushing through to please others
–how to cultivate safety, strength and belonging in yourself
–how to stop seeking answers or cures from an external source.
You will become ROCK STEADY. You will begin Sensing Ground through your eight senses.
Your body is your compass and no experience is ‘too much, too intense, too weird or too sensitive’.
You really learn to back yourself, on your own terms.
You discover your own sense of ‘God’ and what that means to you.
I recently described the 7-Gates of Connection and you can re-read that blog here.
This Dark of Night of the Soul “compost experience” occurs when we outgrow Gate 4 (seeking external guidance) and we step into Gate 5 (the Struggle). Next, you enter Gate 6 (you find your internal resources and inner guidance that you can access 24/7).
Recently I had my own Dark Night of the Soul experience.
I did not want that. It is so uncomfortable.
All the ugh bodily sensations. Lots of fears. Lots of doubt. Questioning everything.
Do I just give up?
So I prayed to my God, I spoke to the universe and I asked: How can I truly be in service this lifetime?
The answer I received was this:
“You are highly skilled at compost, decay, void, darkness, and rebirth. There are millions of people who are stuck searching for external answers and cures, and they want to learn how to move intuitively through their own darkness. Teach them, guide them, host spaces for them. Show up. You know this terrain so well.”
So rather than hiding myself in a hole—here I am. Inviting you to join our community if you are hitting that wall, feeling that things are falling apart, and wanting to learn how to move through your own rebirth process.
Each time I meet my inner darkness, I touch the Sacred and I receive a gift. It is always worth the struggle and these days, I move through this pain and crumby stuff quite quickly. I have been mastering the art of decay, compost, death and rebirth since my late 20s!
I was joking with a friend that my real gift this lifetime is that I can fall apart and rebuild myself really efficiently. I have capacity for intensity and mystery. I can go there and keep breathing. I stay with myself, with my body, with my heart and I keep learning more about what it is to be fully human. I feel the Divine within this icky process.
I promise you that nobody chooses this path. It happens through you, whether you want it or not.
So if you are facing midlife, trauma, struggle, illness, symptoms or any form of the Dark Night of the Soul—join us.
We meet to sit in circle. We listen with our heart. We speak from our bodies. We go there together and it is never too much.
You are never too much. We will never pathologize your experience or offer you external advice. Instead, we will see your strength, your capacity, your love, your uniqueness and we will honour you where you are. In your decay, your compost, your death and your rebirth. Your struggle is Sacred.
These are rites of passage that support our wellbeing, our mental health, our physical body, our spiritual sanity and our relational lives.
What I have learned in this deep apprenticeship of somatic-spiritual work, is that we need each other. Community is the anchor that holds your body, and your body is the anchor that holds you. You are your own expert, and community is your nourishment.
Please don’t cry alone, hide or suffer in the privacy of your own shame.
Join us.
If you have persistent or chronic symptoms, ROCK STEADY may be the better option for you, to learn reconnection to your body.
If you identify as Highly Sensitive (HSP), spiritually fluid, neurodivergent, or Soulful, then SENSING GROUND might be the better option for you.
Feel free to reach out if you are unsure.
I am here for you. When you hit rock bottom, reach out.
I will witness you as you find your way through to the other side.
Reach out if you seek 1:1 sessions with me; these can be a huge portal into your own self-knowing and soulful strength.
