Today I am going to talk Birth and Rites of Passage.
It’s hard to share my story but I’m going to share it anyway. Why? Because stories are our most powerful medicine. Stories shape our culture.
I experienced two ‘ecstatic’ births that showed me who I am.
I didn’t give birth, I experienced it fully, in a 360-degrees way. Waves of sensory variety.
I was reborn, my babies were born and I entered more deeply into a new paradigm of life. A paradigm that I call Sensuality. I morphed into presence, Eros and aliveness.
I moved through the Paradigm of Fear and Separation by ingesting it.
In this world of Sensuality, that I choose to live in, I own my raw power, I trust my bodily sensations fully and I empty myself of the stories that do not belong to me.
My sons were born in water baths, by candle light, with wild wind and moonshine in our midst.
I felt intensity of many shapes, yet there was no pain.
I felt softness and expansions, yet no contractions. I was in expansion, dancing with my babies, trusting the unfolding nature of this breath and the next.
I processed my fears before stepping into the altar of birth.
I digested the possibility of a stillborn, my own death or permanent injury, deformity, disabilities, premature labour or any other very real medical anomalies. I was realistic.
I felt through each scenario and I knew that I was resourced to meet it. I could birth my baby into this world and fully accept the process however it unravelled. I slowed down and made space for all of me.
Birthing is akin to orgasm; it’s the same hormone release with the intense sensation of riding waves with ever growing surrender.
I created a birthing environment where I could fully relax into my body, undisturbed and fully experience my body and my baby in safety.
I gave my medical records to the local hospital and I told them that I would gratefully attend hospital if the birth became a medical event. It didn’t. I was strong, healthy, ready and so were my babies. It never once occurred to me to consult a doctor. I had private midwives who visited me at home, often.
My first born slowly nudged his way down the spiral staircase of my womb over a three-day and three-night process. I felt a mild twinge in my sacrum each 8-minutes. I walked, played board games while squatting, painted, sang, cooked and slept. I cried. I spoke with my baby.
His birth was two-hours of active labour. My body opened and he slid out into the water, his father received him and passed him to my chest. It all just happened; like real magic.
There was no force or pushing, there were natural forces at play that unfurled beyond any ‘doing’. Nature.
My second baby birthed from start to finish in 4-hours and 56-mins. He made a steady spiral-like dance down my womb. I was awake, alert, grounded and breathing in our dark room by the cosy fire.
He crowned for an hour, so I’m told, I was breathing and entranced by the waves of expansion, unaware of details. I felt no pain. He birthed with both shoulders square like a rugby player, choosing not to complete his final turn in the birth canal.
I didn’t argue with his choice. I breathed. He became stuck with both shoulders and head poking out of my body, and with a loving tug from his dad, he was born into water and soon passed to my chest. The midwives witnessed.
Birth is miraculous, it is the creative force in its most majestic form.
However, I feel that the before and after events are more juicy.
I prepared heavily for birth. I read about it. I surrounded myself with real stories from women who had experienced uninterrupted, non-pathologized birth.
I did not believe the fear-mongering.
The stories that tell me it is unsafe to birth.
The stories that say it will be hard and painful.
The stories that tell me that I am broken.
The stories that say I will need to numb myself to cope.
The stories that say I need external guidance to birth my baby.
I understand the human body. I know my own body.
I know my centre, my edges, where I end and where you begin. I know my boundaries.
I understand the difference between birth as a natural physiological process and a medical event.
Birth may be part of a true medical event and in this instance, medical intervention saves lives. This is part of the story, not the full story.
I know who I am and who I am not.
It was very clear to me that my body did not want strangers in my space, lights on, unusual smells, questions being asked, monitors and procedures being ‘done to me’ as a course of protocol.
I knew what I needed to enter the orgasmic state and I created this for my oxytocin and other birth hormones to flow freely. I was sovereign.
I released all fear.
I relaxed into my own strength.
And, I was astounded by how utterly addictive birth is.
It feels intensely amazing.
So, dear reader, how can we collectively step into a paradigm of trusting the body? Our Sensuality leading the way as navigation.
Can we reawaken our ancient-knowing that bodily sensation is our inner intelligence? This is our compass for life.
If we numb our body, we lose our compass.
If we give our power away to external authorities, we never discover who we are or how to play our ecological role in our whole.
Birth is one of many rites of passage that can show us who we are. There are others: menstruation, marriage, divorce, career, menopause, illness, death, war, crisis and so on. Each is an opportunity to digest fear and separation and to follow the intelligence of bodily sensation.
After birth, postpartum—woo! This was the ultimate test! I entered a tremendous period of groundlessness, not-knowing and deep vulnerability. I held myself through this with the loving container of a few special people who witnessed me. This was power. To fall so deeply into mess and to retain sovereignty.
I know my power and because of this, I see and know your power.
You do not need to hide from me.
You can stand tall.
You can fall flat.
You can scream in confusion or pain and I can hear you.
You can be ugly, messy, tender or ferocious and I can witness you.
You can shine your brightest light and I will not look away.
You can judge me, be jealous, turn away or try to squash my nature—and I will hold ground knowing that these are your digestive pains. This process belongs and I understand.
I know who you really are.
And, I invite you to meet me here and tell me your story.
We all need to reclaim our stories and digest our fears.
We all need to relax and surrender into our nature where life flows in clarity.
I do not speak this to seek external approval.
I belong to myself.
I belong with everybody and I belong to nobody.
From this place, I can see clearly, walk my walk and spread my natural radiance out into the world.
May we turn up the volume on birth stories that nourish women and open doorways to their raw power.
May we stop believing the lies that stem from legal mitigation and external protocols.
May we trust her, her body, her voice and her natural timing.
Meet me here, in this Paradigm of Sensuality.
The Paradigm of Fear and Separation is to be fully digested and transformed into raw power, through our sensual body. We feel through the fear in order to metabolise it.
The body knows how to do this.
It’s a natural power that every single one of us possess.
I call this process Sensing Ground.
To learn more about joining my new Sensing Ground community, visit here.
I look forward to digesting fear with everyone who signs up.
Sensuality awaits us all…
Our senses guide us home, beyond symptoms, pains and fear.
We transform each moment through the lens of love, presence and connection.
