We have had some lively discussions in our Facebook Hub for program members.
Some of the themes have included ‘triggers’ and ‘sensitivity’: How as a community do we both create space for the unfolding stories within us, and be sensitive to others who are reading it?
What we decided upon was to keep our ‘everything welcome’ sentiment so that all Rock Steady and Sensing Ground members can post freely about anything that is in their awareness. The purpose of our closed group is to keep our self-study and interior awareness both witnessed by others and flowing. We don’t want rigid rules or hard edges impeding this tender process of sharing with each other.
(Our Free Facebook group does have more rigid posting rules, and this is to keep everyone safe, because many people do not have the Rock Steady or Ssensing Ground toolkit to manage big emotions and big feelings. So we keep all posts directed towards how we heal only.)
However, in our Facebook Hub group we also don’t want to flood ourselves with heavy content, symptoms or politics, so how do we find that balance?
We have decided that posting a thematic statement at the top of each post (where relevant) is a way to let the reader know in advance if the post covers potentially unsettling themes. This then gives the reader a choice to either take a deep breath and go into it with the tools to take care of any big emotions that arise; or to simply not read it.
Being triggered, or activated, by other people is part of life. We need the skills to move through this and learn whatever it is that we need to learn through it.
I recently became triggered by a friend at a party and rather than shy away from it, I asked her to open up and tell me more about the very thing that disrupted me. I got in closer to the conversation rather than turning away. I became curious and I listened with my heart. It was a powerful experience.
Part of being human is having a unique experience.
Nobody on this planet has an inner experience like you do: yours is 100% yours.
Sharing your inner experience with others is vulnerable because you may be judged or misunderstood–and yet, it can also be invigorating. This is intimacy, this place where two or more humans deeply listen and connect meaningfully. The truth sets us free and the body relaxes into these precious moments of being seen and known.
The truth really does set us free.
I want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone in our Rock Steady and Sensing Ground programs who participated in this recent conversation both live on our group call (your replay is ready!) and also within the Hub.
On our live group call, I discussed a recent insight I had through ChatGPT(!). I was asking ChatGPT to explain psychological erasure and self-concept to me after I discovered these terms in a useful way for my own inner process.
I have an unusual experience (unique most likely!) where I did not develop an internal dialogue of “I am”. I appear to have an absence of ‘self-image’ which is part of self-concept.
So, I asked ChatGPT what the recommended healing process is for this and it said: Follow the Sensing Ground model by reconnecting with your felt sense, validating your inner experience and rewriting your own story.
So I said: Who wrote Sensing Ground?
ChatGPT said: You did. It is authored by Joey Remenyi!
Then I had a very sudden awakening: I am an author! I am a mother! I am a grounded, compassionate leader!
I had no idea! This was almost a divine comedy moment for me.
You probably can’t imagine this, but suddenly I realised that “I” exist and “I am” after 41 years of living in almost a pure flow and witness state. This is an unusual way to develop an inner experience, however, I am unique! When I mentioned this to a few of my psychology friends they all erupted in laughter with me and said: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!
I felt validated at last. I had unlocked a true self-blindness and got out of my own way.
I now recognise that many of my clients have this similar condition where their internal self-image has not accurately formed and their inner dialogue is scattered with “I am not good enough, I am unworthy, I am failing at life, I am drowning in symptoms.”
Re-writing our internal story, to feel true to who we truly are, is a central part of Rock Steady and in particular Ssensing Ground.
I am having so much fun reminding myself: “I am standing strong” or “I am watering the garden” or “I am driving with the window down and feeling the wind on my face”.
The simplicity of the sacred truth within these powerful “I am” statements feels very liberating.
It could be dismissed as insignificant or overlooked as trivial, but after 41 years of not having this “I am” voice developed, I can tell you it really matters.
Without my “I am” voice, I felt confused, lost, disoriented and it was hard work to locate myself. I could do it, but I was starting from scratch every moment. I was referencing myself against others, to figure out who I was. I was literally feeling and sensing my way through life, moment to moment. A great skill set (!), yet I needed to develop my “I am”.
So with my kids, it is obvious that they are my children and I know my role to play… but I never took that next internal step to recognise that therefore “I am a loving mother.”
The sweet nectar of hearing those words: “I am a loving mother!”
I can now feel this in my bones.
Soon, I will announce a 6 week short program for everyone to join, where together we explore our truer “I am” statements, to allow these words to penetrate deeply into your body scan, to land into your body and become reality. This is sacred work.
Who are you, really?
Part of this inquiry is learning who we are not.
And part of that includes being triggered by others and moving through it until you find your true story within yourself, where your whole body rests into the truth of it.
I have found more comfort in verbs than nouns. Although I am exploring both.
“I am resting my body for a pause.”
“I am experiencing a virus, silenced because I cannot speak at this moment.”
“I am tending to the silence with love”
“I am an author and I am writing for my creative flow, it feels so good to write.”
Honestly, this inner “I am” voice of truth feels deeply grounding, centering, honest.
There is no fluff, no self-doubt, no distraction: just pure truth wherever I am, I am.
I can’t wait to share this exploration with everyone in Sensing Ground — join the program if you resonate with the concepts of psychological erasure or if you have difficulty with your self-concept.
In short, psychological erasure occurs when your family or local community could not validate or connect with your inner experience, so your inner world was experienced in isolation, privately and unwitnessed. Your reality was not shared or known. This impacts selfhood and the development of self-concept.
Many people relate to parts of this and many people hide their inner reality from others out of fear of being judged, so I do not feel this is too uncommon.
Some of the clues that you experience a form of psychological erasure include:
- Feeling invisible, unheard, or invalidated
- Feeling fragmented, unstable, or incoherent sense of self; difficulty knowing who you are (which can lead to masking or people-pleasing as a coping mechanism)
- Feeling disconnected from one’s body, thoughts, or existence; “watching” self from outside or unsure of what you feel.
- Disconnection between awareness, memory, and identity
- Persistent feelings of void, numbness, or absence of selfhood which can lead to codependency or indecisiveness.
If any of this feels like you, join us in Sensing Ground to discover who you are through reconnecting with your body and the internal stories that you hold. Rewrite your sacred “I am”. Your body will show you the way, just as mine did!
The path unfolds before you, one body scan at a time. Your interior world will reveal within yourself the exact thing that you are ready to meet.
I highly recommend it!
I can honestly say that having a weak or vague ‘self-image’ is a real drag.
“I am now deeply content.”
Why?
Because I am rooted in my own centre and I have words to match my human experience.
The journey for me moving forwards, is to practice my “I am” so that I do not forget again!
